Thursday, March 15, 2012

Off course: Masterchef UK, before the final

I couldn't be happier and I couldn't be more excited. When this series of Masterchef started, I'd predicted quite early on that Tom, Shelina and Andrew would make it to the final four (Aki was the fourth). This isn't to showcase my own prediction skills- they're usually rubbish- but to say that I really think the best cooks are in the finals. That doesn't always happen so it's great when it does. [Hello, Masterchef Australia, season 2; I liked Adam and Callum but Marion should have satayed (1) a little longer].

The last few episodes were a great way to remind those who already knew, and convince those who didn't, of how good they all are. I didn't know there was an episode yesterday, by the bye, so I sauntered off to iplayer only to find that I was already one episode behind. And the finals tomorrow makes it three this week. I think there's someone over at the Beeb who picks a number from a box and that's the number of episodes we get for that week.

But what a good two episodes we just saw. Andrew got hugged like he's never been hugged before by the frightening-looking chef at the restaurant in Amsterdam. The French chef in Dorchester even got his own subtitles only to have them mysteriously disappear while he was speaking. And we met a couple of 'regulars' at Shelina's Bruges restaurants who pop in now and again to have a 90 euro starter. This is where I do some good old proletarian sour-grape(2) throwing: O.O.O.

Everytime I see a clip of Tom running around, a part of me dies. Really, why does every 'it's all going wrong' sentiment have to be backed up by a clip of him running around? He's my favourite of the three but I don't think he's going to win. He's inventive, skilled and worked exceptionally well in the most recent episode, but timing has been a consistent problem of his and it's amusing (3) no one. He's also not been the most consistent cook. Imagine a graph: x axis- inventive, y axis- reliable. Whatever position Jay's on, Tom's would mirror him. No, I don't think it'll be him though I'm desperate to be proved wrong.

My money's on Shelina. She's my least favourite of the three- her canned (4) giggling annoys me to no end. And the exchanges between her and Greg (John too, but more Greg) are becoming more and more embarrassing to watch. But she's the cook who has grown most from the start of the show. She used to be criticized for not being refined enough and playing too safe; she's really moved on from there and I can't remember her having had even one disaster in the kitchen. Also, based purely on pragmatics, since the winner is very likely to start their own restaurant, the fact that she does Mauritian food (or hadn't you noticed?) means she automatically has a niche. But someone please tell her to stop eating into (5) the whole island's supply of mangoes. I can never find any at the shops and it's probably because she's used up the lot.

But Andrew is the best. I think the show can safely release a small stuffed toy of Andrew and it would be best-seller (6); I'd buy hundreds and thousands (7). It could have this string that, when pulled, makes the corners of his face go up, down, up, down, as though he's smiling, then crying, smiling, then crying. He and Tom have a similar cooking profile: Tom's better with desserts, Andrew's more reliable with the staid-cooking stuff, Tom's been more consistent with flavour combinations, Andrew's been better with not repeating mistakes. But he really has a counting problem, doesn't he? With timings, and then with thinking that one mouthful is basically the same as four. Though a close-up of Greg's mouth may justify that.

But here's a question: which person on the show had the biggest transformation? No, it's not Shelina. It's not Tom, it's not Andrew. Hello, MBE for dessert-making woman. Why are you masquerading as Meryl Streep gone to seed (8)? For goodness sake, take that honeycomb Tom made and stick it on your head like a hairband. Ooh, voice spot: hers and that of Joanne Froggatt- Anna in Downton Abbey.

What a lovely chef they had in the kitchen though- Restaurant Gordon Ramsay's way of giving the world something other than a foul (9) tempered (10) nut (11) to listen to. She was helpful and encouraging and, unlike Mike/Jason Atherton, didn't just pay lip service to being strict about what leaves her kitchen. And she seemed very impressed with Tom so I dare say he's got an internship waiting for him when he's done.

Which brings us to tomorrow's episode: Fire Walk With Me. That went fast. The only things I can think of that they should do differently in the next series are: 1. Have a few more contestants to start with. This lot felt two too few. But that was because Emma may or may not have masterminded the disappearance of Ashvi and Jonathan, remember? 2. Bump it up to a consistent two episodes per week once we're at, say, the final six or so. One a week is peanuts (12). 3. Instead of having three different challenges/segments packed into one episode as they had in the earlier rounds, to keep it to two and show more of the actual cooking rather than just starting points and comments.

But who am I kidding? It's been a good run (13).

-
P.S. Some tricky ones to make up for the long silence: (5) Celery (13) Runner beans.

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